Dear Oahu,

I will soon be amongst your stuck up and ghetto kids;
I can't wait to be one of them!
Minus the stick-up-my-ass-I'm-holier-than-thou attitude and the I'm-from-the-hood-but-not-really look, of course.

letters.

Dear Brittania,

This week's been crazy, nothing at all to do with you, but still.
I always get on your ass about how we should always communicate no matter the circumstances, which makes me the world's biggest hypocrite.
I know I explained this all on the phone a few nights ago, but still.
I shouldn't have been on that shit, and regardless, still should've kept you updated instead of trying to ignore you, although I felt it was for the better.
I'm sorry for breaking my promises, I know how much that irritates you, and I PROMISE to stop doing that, no matter how trifling a promise it may seem. I want you to be able to consider my word golden and again I apologize.
I'm not sure whether or not you're still bothered by how your weekend visit turned out, and I already gave you my explanation regarding that, but I PROMISE you, if you ever give me another chance to hang out another weekend down here, it will be wayyy worth it and it'll be just me and you, cereals.
Not only this past week, but since the 6ish months we've been together, you've been able to get a good sense of who I really am, flaws and all, mostly flaws, but I hope you realize, within the time we've been together, that I genuinely care for you and your well-being, that I love you deeply, and that you've been a positive influence in my life.
Things will get better, but I'm just letting you know, this week, maybe even next week (though I doubt it) things are gonna be difficult. My dad comes back tomorrow and I'm sure shits gonna hit the fan. They don't know about all the drugs and stuff, but I have no doubt that my grandma's gonna tell them all the shit I've been doing while they were gone: staying out late, not going school, etc. My mom's gonna tell my dad the shit I did when she came back: egg her room, break shit, yell and whatnot. Obviously, my dad's not going to like the news, and honestly, I don't know what'll happen. Hopefully all this drama gets over with ASAP and I can put everything behind me, all I know is, rough waters are ahead and I can only hope you understand my situation, try not to get too irritated, and support me no matter what.
I wouldn't be telling you any of this if I didn't seriously love you, which you know I do, which is why you're reading this. If we're going to last, we gotta talk to each other, and this is me talking, err, typing.
So in the event our talks are limited, your phone calls aren't being answered/returned, or whatever the case may be that might make you question my love and devotion for you, just blank it out. My shit is causing my actions, MY SHIT, nothing you did or said. Just know that.
This is getting mad long, so i'll wrap it up. I love you Brittney. With all my heart, I really do love you. So just bare with me in the meantime, because eventually, hopefully soon, all this drama will be far behind us and we'll be happier than ever. I'm sorry I even put you in this situation, I'm sorry for anything I have done or not done, said or not said. I love you. Infinity Squared

I found this on my Facebook (I knew there was a reason I deleted FB)!
Anyway, at one point in time, I found this sacred, special and all that jazz, something that was meant for me and me alone and well I still don't know if it's appropriate to post something like this up, but I did anyway.

I believe this was written to me ,amazingly, just a couple weeks before we broke up. Five months ago. I can't believe how time flies. How much my life has changed.

Yet, I don't even know what feeling I had when I re-read this. I didn't feel the urge to laugh or cry which may have been reasonable a couple of months ago. It was more like just "Oh." or "Is that how it was?" or "Hmmmm." And that's about it.
I suppose I've moved on.
(Although, I'm sure someone is bound to say that if I really moved on then I wouldn't have posted this... and in that case, I'll have to reply with: This is just what's up currently and what's up is that I've found this.)

So now, I'm left with this ehh feeling. Half relief that I didn't feel sad reading this and half nostalgia and yearning.

Of course I'd have to account my previous statement to the fact that me and Jayven aren't at this point yet. But when and if we do, I hope it doesn't change. Not like what happened between me and this letter writer.
- Thank God Jay doesn't read my blogs.

End of the Year.

"Brittney!
I love you, nuff said.
I know you'll be a well accomplished woman in the future, so marry me one
day. Nah, but seriously I'm going to miss you.
You're so special, Brittney. I just hope
you're safe and keep striving for greatness.
Love, Ainoa Shaw. We go cruise one day"

More yearbook signing today! Lots of cute and fond memories but...
I thought this was absolutely adorable.
(: (: (:

Ninja Assassin

win (movie and cast!)
<3

my jay bay bay is definitely handsome.
but, i can't help but think this guy is lovely as well.
(;

Life goes on

and I couldn't be happier.

charlee and i.

miss this.

Apologies.

I dislike trogs with nice personalities.
Makes me feel bad!

I also disdain hating things by association.
It just ruins everything.

On a brighter note,
I do love the way the sun is shining lately.
The fact that summer means being both free and busy.
And that my pink nail polish matches brilliantly with the ring I found on my desk.